Writing a good introduction: Show that you truly understand the question

It’s quite easy to write an average introduction. And to be honest, you can still get a good mark with an average introduction. The opposite applies – no matter how amazing your introduction is, lousy content would still be your downfall. However, we are dealing with a subjective subject – so if your essay teeters between average and good, making a good first impression can colour your reader’s vision, putting them in a better mood when reading the rest of your essay, and, if you’re lucky, make your essay appear better than it is.

One way to do this is to really understand the question. Imagine that the question is an emotional, angst-ridden teenager who just wants to be understood. The biggest challenge that you face is to show, in your introduction, that you truly understand this “emo teenager”.

‘The key to good health is lifestyle rather than medicine.’ How far do you agree? (2010)

Slant/implication:

The phrase “…rather than medicine” suggests that people mistakenly believe that medicine is the answer to good health, and that eople tend to forget or neglect the importance of lifestyle – something the question implies is more important.

Underlying issues:

The question suggests “lifestyle (as the) key to good health”, and this hints at two underlying issues – (1) that the way we live our lives might be affecting our health adversely, and (2) in light of current lifestyle trends (for instance, the increasing trend of people getting gym memberships or signing up for Yoga classes or jumping onto the latest healthy diet bandwagon), lifestyle is (becoming ?) an increasingly important way of ensuring good health.

Embed the debate (include a key counter-argument):

When there’s a slant to a question, there’s definitely a debate involved, which will be associated with the underlying issues mentioned above. A good introduction is aware that there is a debate, acknowledges it, and embeds both sides of the debate into the introduction.

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The following excerpt from an introduction highlights the first feature (recognizing the slant/implications), along with a number of other good skills:

From the start of the 20th century until now, dozens of pills have been invented, seeking to restore people to the pink of health, curing them from those irritating little common colds that they so often contract [1] . With modern medicine providing an easy (and at times, seemingly miraculous) cure, it is easy to neglect the importance of lifestyle [2]. And it is equally easy to forget that we are living in a time where the number of deadly, frightening pandemics has increased immensely [3]. These diseases threaten to invade our iummune system, which, up to now, no awful-tasting concoction [a], no magic vaccination, no duo-coloured capsule [b] can cure [c][3]. How then can we fight a threat that even modern medicine cannot cure? The answer is surprisingly [d] simple – so much so that it might sound laughable, naive, even childish [d]. The answer lies in our lifestyle [4].

- Adapted from Amelia’s script

Content

• [1] Identify the issue(s): We rely on medicine to cure us and make us healthy
• [2] Highlight the slant / implication of the question: We might neglect the importance of lifestyle (note: this can also be seen as an having embedded the debate – after all, medicine can be considered quite miraculous in its ability to restore our health, which is a key argument for proponents of medicine)
• [3] Sprinkle in some context: Bringing in some relevant characteristics of the modern world, and setting the context adds a touch of sophistication to your essay. Note that Point (2) of “underlying issues” also counts as context (Context: the increasing trend of people getting gym memberships or signing up for Yoga classes or jumping onto the latest healthy diet bandwagon)
• [4] Ensure your stand is clear and unambiguous

Language

• [a] Appeal to the sense of taste
• [b] Appeal to the sense of sight
• [c] Use of a triplet
• [d] Pre-empt your reader’s counter-arguments: Adding “surprisingly”, “laughable, naive, even childish” makes the statement more sophisticated. Simply saying that “the answer is simple” makes you sound naive – answers are rarely simple, and as a reader, that would be my instinctive counter-argument to anyone who says “the answer is simple”. But saying that it is “surprisingly” simple and that it sounds “childish” makes you sound far more insightful, because now I think that you know something that I don’t. As the reader, I cannot counter-argue your statement with “that’s such a naive stand” because you’ve already embedded my counter-argument into your stand – which makes me think, hey, this writer has something interesting to say because they are clever enough to realise that it sounds simplistic, yet they’re sticking to that stand – which must mean they have a good reason to do so.

Although a good introduction will manage to capture the underlying issues, as well as the slant/implication(s) of the question, as mentioned at the start of this post, it is possible to get a good grade even with an average introduction. To do that (assuming your introduction is just average), you’ll have to deal with all these issues, as well as address of the slant of the question and question implications, in your body paragraphs. This, of course, is in addition to the key requirement of this question – to compare, in each paragraph, lifestyle with medicine.

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Task

Edit this introduction further to incorporate the underlying issues mentioned near the start of this post.

Introduction skills: (1) Meet requirements (2) Define/illustrate key terms (3) Signpost

There are many ways to write a good introduction. This post considers three important skills:

1. Meet requirements
   Show a clear understanding of question requirements (this includes making your stand and thesis very clear)
2. Define/illustrate key terms
   These should be defined or illustrated (using examples) clearly
3. Signpost
   Signpost the body paragraph arguments, as well as the definitions of key terms.

‘Far too much attention is given to beauty products and treatments.’ Do you agree? (2004)

Far too much attention is given to beauty products and treatments because more and more people are becoming increasingly concerned with their outward appearance and some are even obsessed with their looks so much that they go to the extremes of spending money on cosmetic surgery [1]. Thanks to the media, the purpose of beauty products is no longer solely to cleanse the skin but also to whiten, purify, remove wrinkles [BP&T]… [2] The media has instilled and developed in people the desire to look good by constantly broadcasting beauty and make-over [BP&T] programmes and as a result caused people to be always mindful of their own looks and chasing after the ‘ideal’ appearance. Why is this too much? [3] People are now more willing to spend a greater proportion of their income on beauty products and treatments and as a result have compromise their spending on daily necessities. Furthermore, family time or time to socialize is sacrificed as people make use of this time to seek facial and spa treatments [BP&T] [4]. Are all these sacrifices necessary? I think not [5]. I am not saying that giving attention, for example through spending time and money on beauty products and treatments [6] to make one look possibly better, is wrong; what I am saying is we certainly should not be doing so at the expense of our everyday needs and social life [7].

- Zhong Yang, 2T28

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Comments and analysis (corresponds to numbers above):

1. Clear stand and thesis (presented as an argument – reason + conclusion)

2. Good attempt at using the ellipsis. Might be more effective if you had more than three things on your list – would give your reader a stronger sense of the endlessness of the list.

3. Yardstick and definition of “too much” is being clearly signposted. Note: signpost could be expressed more elegantly.

4. Content of body paragraphs is being clearly signposted

5. Yardstick defined ( = necessity)

6. “attention” is clearly defined

7. Clarification of stand/thesis; evaluative comment

[BP&T]. Illustration of “beauty products and treatments”

Overall comments:

A very clear introduction which shows good understanding of question requirements. The yardstick is clearly signposted and defined, as are the main arguments that will be presented in the body paragraphs. Key terms (“too much”, “attention”, “beauty products and treatments”) are clearly defined and/or illustrated. Thesis is further clarified to enhance the sense of purpose and confidence in the thesis.