Read the following excerpts and decide whether it meets requirements (in other words, will pass for content), or whether it fails to meet requirements. For each example, state “Pass” or “Fail” accordingly. If you think it passes, state the main area(s) for improvement. If you think it fails, state the main reason(s) why it does not meet requirements.
My home country, Singapore, has emphasied repeatedly the need for us Singaporeans to stay healthy and keep fit. However, they do not exactly mention how they expect us to remain healthy. Some believe that research and developments of new drugs will be the key that ensures our health. Others refute that statement, convinced that a healthy lifestyle is the way to go. Before, we go any further, health typically would mean staying physically fit, psychologically stimulated and emotionally stable. For some reason, there are more people who place their faith in medicine, maybe because it is a tangible object where its effects are clearly seen, whereas the benefits of a healthy lifestyle may not always be substantiated by data. Whatever the case, it is a fact that medicine and healthy lifestyles will ultimately contribute to health and fitness. Moreover, the combination of the two will surely increase the likelihood of being healthy. Therefore, lifestyle and medicine are equally significant factors for healthy living.
The lifestyle we have is shaped by the society we live in, [and] has a great influence on our lives. Therefore, it is fair to say that our health is a reflection of our lifestyle as the daily activities we do in our life can affect our health easily in every way. Hence, lifestyle is the key to good health, rather than medicine.
Having a healthy lifestyle prevents one from having to take medicine. Just with regular exercise and a well-balanced diet, one will be able to maintain good health without needing the help of medicine. For instance, there was a Korean lady in her 30s suffering from various diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes. Realising that it was her obesity that had resulted in these illnesses she started having a healthy lifestyle. Not only did she lose weight, but she was also able to get rid of all of the illnesses she had. As this example show, that there is a direct link between lifestyle and one’s health. In addition, living life with a positive attitude helps one to maintain good health. As one attains good health due to one’s healthy lifestyle, one is likely to have a positive mindset and this, again, contributes to one’s own health. This shows how much lifestyle can affect people’s health and thus, lifestyle is the key to good health rather than medicine which merely treats poor health to become better.
Taking medicine can result in unwanted side-effects, such as nausea and hair loss. As lifestyle changes do not have these unwanted side-effects, it it lifestyle, rather than medicine, that is the key to good health.