Essay analysis: To what extent has technology had a negative impact on the skill levels of people? (2010)

11 08 2011

Task

Read the following excerpts and decide whether it meets requirements (in other words, will pass  for content), or whether it fails to meet requirements. For each example, state “Pass” or “Fail” accordingly. If you think it passes, state the main area(s)  for improvement. If you think it fails, state the main reason(s) why it does not meet requirements.

Example 1

In the area of sports where the skills of individuals are put on display, technology might have just changed this emphasis on skills to a competition of who has the best equipment. Recently, popular swimwear brand Speedo introduced a new line of swimming attire. The new full-body swimsuit has been designed to help reduce water resistance and promote gliding in water […] In the Formula One, two new inclusions for 2011 are the introduction of the Drag Reduction System (DRS) as well as the re-introduction of the Kinetic Energy Recovery System (KERS) […] Such technology might have created an over-reliance on them. Instead of competing on a level based on skill, we are now competing on a level based on technology.

Example 2

Looking at the educational sector, where education itself can be considered as a skill, technology has in fact, helped to improve our education system and made information more accessible to a vast majority of us.  The internet is already available to almost all of us except those living in rural areas of the country.  Even so, with smart phones, like the iPhone allowing users to have easy access to the internet, information is literally available at our fingertips.  Hence no longer do children have to travel to their nearest library to find research on their latest assignment, as they can conveniently access it at home, to sources and insights shared by a diverse group of people worldwide.  With so much information readily available for us it can be said that surely, technology has helped us to improve our skill level, especially in the area of education, but only if we do not misuse it.  Undoubtedly, along with the good seeds come the bad seeds, as available on the internet are also many snares and traps which might lead to our doom. Online gaming, pornography and online betting are only a measly few examples which have distracted people from reality and from advancing in their skill levels in the real world. For example, some people get so addicted to online gaming that they choose to neglect their work – or even worse, stop working completely. It is here that their real skill lies, in their careers, thus, if misused, technology will result in a decrease in the skill levels of people, as more people start to forgo them for useless skills in the virtual world itself.

Example 3

In fact, skill levels of people may even be improved by technology.  In a country such as Singapore where our economy is knowledge-based, knowledge is indeed a skill which many possess.  Apart from traditional compulsory schooling, technology and its advancements have made many in the nation open new ideas from different parts of the world.  These come in the forms of computers (the internet), and our much-loved television sets and even other forms of media such as the radio.  By broadening our horizons and perspectives about those who live around in the world, we are better able to understand and respond to the variety of lifestyles and cultures around us and handle our foreign friends well. This has resulted in a positive impact in the skill we have in treating others from a completely different background well.

Example 4

The improvement in technology leads to the increased accessibility to information. People are able to attain more information from the Internet and thus increases their skill levels in the aptitude of their study.

Example 5

Technology increases the ease of global communication. In the modern world, to remain competitive, firms must ensure their employees are skilled in the art of communication. Different parts of the world speak different languages, thus to remain competitive, communicative ability of employees with regards to communication has to be improved so people would understand each other. Thus, technology does not have a negative impact; instead, its impact is just the opposite.

Example 6

A characteristic of the modern world is mass production. Technology is constantly being improved to cater to the demand of efficient production. However these mass produced are usually created faster compared to traditional hand made accessories. The traditional art of the precise weaving of bamboo or straw is slowly being crowded out by firms, leading to the loss of skill levels among rural people as they struggle to compete globally. This might however, induce an improvement rather than a loss in skill level. These rural entrepreneurs can find ways to export and increase production of their hand made goods. They adapt to the global revolution and cultivate new skills, thus technology has lead to an increase in the skill level of people.

Example 7

Google is actually making us less intellectually inclined [because we no longer] bother pondering and thinking the solution to a question to enhance our thought process. Instead, we just Google it.


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64 responses

11 08 2011
nelly

Example 1 : PASS
[…] Instead of competing on a level based on skill, we are now competing on a level based on technology.
reason:
Skill- sports performance
shoud add “Therefore people will no longer work on their skills, but instead use technology to improve their performance.”

Example 2 : FAIL
[…] education itself can be considered as a skill
reason:
education is not a skill. but can cultivate skill from education.

11 08 2011
natalie

Example 3: PASS
[…]By broadening our horizons and perspectives about those who live around in the world, we are better able to understand and respond to the variety of lifestyles and cultures around us and handle our foreign friends well.
reason:
Skill- knowledge that give rise to improved social interactions

Example 4: Fail
[…]People are able to attain more information from the Internet and thus increases their skill levels in the aptitude of their study.

11 08 2011
natalie

Example 4: Fail
[…]People are able to attain more information from the Internet and thus increases their skill levels in the aptitude of their study.
reason:
What is the skill??? Leap of logic.

Example 5: Pass
[…]skilled in the art of communication
[…]Thus, technology does not have a negative impact; instead, its impact is just the opposite.
reason:
Skill : art of communication
But the questions asks “to what extent” , not whether technology have negative impact or not.

Example 6: Pass
the precise weaving of bamboo or straw
They adapt to the global revolution and cultivate new skills, thus technology has lead to an increase in the skill level of people.
Skill: making hand-made accessories.

11 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

Three of your answers are wrong, one is right.
Example 4 – answer is correct, explanation is not wrong, but that isn’t the main reason why that fails.

11 08 2011
BokChong Tay

To what extent has technology had a negative impact on the skill levels of people? (2010)

—————————
Example 1 – Fail

Failed to show impacts on the skill levels. Instead, gone on to use various examples to tell me about new technology, which already is a given (in the context of this question). Could be improved by substituting examples of new technology with instances of compromised skill levels.

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Example 2 – Fail

Failed to understand context of negative impact. Answer approaches “To what extent has technology destroyed skills of people”.

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Example 3 – Fail

Failed to be coherent. First and last line not only did not reconcile, but are completely different. From answering the question in the first line, and deviates to a one-liner on interpersonal skills. Seems like attempt to add scope to the essay. But ends up in confusion on how much has technology really negatively impacted skill levels of people.

—————————

Example 4 – Pass

Improvement:
Using the idea of “minimal negative impacts, or even to the point of positive impact” instead of “increases their skill levels” answers the question more directly.

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Example 5 – Fail

Argument is in doubt. Technology has been made to sound like it is free from negative impacts (in fact positive impact) as it “increases the ease of global communication”. The need for this “increases [in] ease of global communication” is in fact caused by technology through globalization. Above all, author forgets to address the question.

—————————

Example 6 – Pass

Very convincing as there is a good link between technology and negative impact. Later, evaluating the negative impact and how it will eventually emerge as a positive impact. Concluding, how limited the negative impacts are. If repeated for a range of examples at different levels, content should score very well🙂

11 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

One is wrong, one is right. The rest give the correct answer, but the wrong explanation.

11 08 2011
Priscella

Example 1-fail
Technology may (or may not) cause us to be competing based on the technology that we have or that it caused us to be over reliant but it may not have caused a negative impact on skill levels of people.
Example 2-?
education is a skill??
or is learning a skill?
Example 3-?
knowledge is a skill??
or is learning a skill?
Example 4-pass
elaborate on how improvements in technology leads to increase accessibility of informationand in what way it enhances their skill levels in their areas of studies
Example 5-fail
how the improvements in technology help to improve the skills in communcation is not established
Example 6-fail
Stand is not acceptable. questions asks whether the technology had a negative impact or not rather than it improves or not

11 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

2&3 – pass or fail?
Two are wrong, one has the correct answer but wrong explanation, one is right.

11 08 2011
Sarah Ng 2T28

Example 1: Fail. Might have gone off tangent. Question asks about technology’s impact on people’s skill level, not about how the value of skills has been put down by technology.

Example 2: Fail. Too much on the technology part, not linked tightly enough to skills level. Starts to ramble on to other completely irrelevant things in the second half of the paragraph.

Example 3: Pass. Relevant to question, but example went from education then–somehow–people’s social skills….

Example 4: Fail. Insufficient elaboration.

Example 5:Fail. How does technology do this?

Example 6: Pass. Needs to ptalk more about how it helpswith developing new skills.

11 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

One answer is wrong.
4 – wrong explanation
5 – explanation isn’t clear

11 08 2011
Gabriel Lam

Example 4 – Pass

The improvement in technology leads to the increased accessibility to information. Information is power, the ability to attain more information from the Internet does not have a negative impact, but instead increase their skill levels in the aptitude of their study. In a survey conducted by the Ministry of Education (MOE), 5 out of every 8 students in higher education utilize the internet as resources for their Thesis or Project Work. Google is the third most visited website, a search engine well known throughout the world. The pervasive use of Google has allowed people to attain knowledge of almost anything. Type “How to…” into the search engine and lists of guides on how to do things which teaches people and improves their information level. Technology is an asset that helps to improve and build on the skills of people by introducing new and better ideas and solutions to further help improve peoples skill levels.

11 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

No.

11 08 2011
G & Hazel

Example 1
Pass as you need to possess skills to participate in sports.

Example 2
Fail
Is education a skill?
Doesn’t mention the positive bit first address the negative impacts of tech first then counter argue with

Example 3
Fail
Did not mention the negative impact
Not what the question is about, merely stating a benefit.

Example 4
Fail
Again, failed to answer the question. Question asked about the negative impacts.

Example 5
Fail
There’s no link on how tech improves communication.
The writer just stated that we need to communicate with others and as such tech has a positive impact.
No link

Example 6
Fail
Did not answer the question, no clear distinction between positive and negative impacts.
Messy

11 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

Two answers are wrong, one answer is right, but the explanation is wrong. The rest are correct.

12 08 2011
Clare

Example 1: Fail
Reason – The writer is merely arguing that we need not use our sport skills due to the availability of technology. The question is asking whether there is an impact on the LEVEL of skills. Not needing to use the skills anymore does not mean that our level of that skill has diminished.

Example 2: Fail (horribly)
Reason- How can education be considered a skill?? (perhaps saying that it is an avenue where various skills can be acquired or developed would be better?) Moreover, the example of the internet did not specifically explain how the level of this ‘skill’ (that the writer keeps writing but did not specifically say what it is) has diminished.

12 08 2011
Leonard Darryl

Example 1
Conclusion – FAIL
Reason – there is no clear link to why technology has had a negative impact on the skill of the people. The writer merely cites how technology has “replaced” the requirements for skill level in competitions

Example 2
Conclusion – FAIL
Reason – the first part the writer talks about how technology has improved the availability of information for the people and that with this availability skill levels can be improved.. there isnt any link
the second part the writer merely remarks on the negative imapcts of technology on the community, though he tried to link it to the skill level but he failed.

12 08 2011
Li Xu

Example 1: Fail. The link towards sports technology in showing that it has caused a negative impact on the skills of people is not shown. You do need skills to use the equipment efficiently.

Example 2: Fail. Does not show how the internet has led to people being deskilled, neither does it show how people can learn skills from readily available information.

12 08 2011
Chun Chie & Yu Cheong

Example 1: FAIL
Reason: -Not answering the question (does not address the negative impact & the skill is not defined properly)
– Never consider the extent of impact

Example 2: FAIL
Reason: – [Looking at the educational sector…. helped us to improve our skill level] – Should not mention about the benefits (Irrelevant)
– Never consider the extent of impact, although negative impacts on the skill levels of people are stated

12 08 2011
Clare

Example 3: Fail
Reason- Knowledge per se is not a skill. The ability to acquire or apply it is more is. The writer is merely arguing how we can now better receive knowledge due to the advancements in technology.

Example 4: Fail
Reason – Would have passed if he/she had further elaborated on his point that ‘the internet increases their skill levels in the aptitude of their study’.

12 08 2011
Chun Chie & Yu Cheong

Example 3 & 4: FAIL
Reason: – Totally out of point (Question is asking for the negative impacts and not the postive impacts)

Example 5: FAIL
Reasons: – Mentioning a benefit of technology doesn’t prove that it doesnt have any negative impact on the skill level of the people. The question is not asking whether it has a negative impact on the skills but the EXTENT.

12 08 2011
Wallace

example 5 -fail- does not meet question requirements of technology affecting skill levels but instead addresses the impacts of technology in the working world.

example 2 -fail- technology does help in education, however, education is not considered a skill.

12 08 2011
Shu Ming

Example1:
Fail- did not show how technology had a negative impact on the skill levels. no clear link.

Example 2:
Fail- education a skill?

Example 3:
Fail- knowledge is not a skill. Merely saying how technology has helped us to gain knowledge.

12 08 2011
Matthew Chan

Example 1 — fail
Does not show over-reliance on technology.
Should talk about the fact that world records were broken during the super suit era and how only a small handful were broken AFTER the super suits were banned.

Example 4 — fail
People are able to attain more information from the Internet and thus increases their skill levels in the aptitude of their study.
But Skill is the ability to do something well; expertise:difficult work , taking great skill
[count noun] a particular ability:the skills of cookery.
So not really answering the question as its not really a skill.

Example 7 — fail
Same as example 4.

Example 2 — fail
Education is not a skill.

12 08 2011
TanWenJian 陈稳健

Example 1-FAIL
– Making use of equipment doesn’t show our over-reliance + Having such technologies does not mean the level of “skills” is compromised by technology
– Examples doesn’t show how technology brings about negative impact on skills. Did not answer the question.
Example 2 – Fail
-Education =/= skills. This passage places too much emphasis on “globalisation” and how technology made communication easier, made life easier. Neglected the skills part. Contents on the web/computer WILL NOT AFFECT THE SKILLS. MISCONCEPTION. LOGIC LEAP.
Example 7-Fail
– Being intellectually inclined or not doesn’t mean that skill level is low/high.
– Did not answer the key word “SKILLS”

12 08 2011
Shermin + Elaine

Example 1
Fail. Over-reliance does not equate negative impact. Last sentence has no link to the qn (competing based on skill vs. competing based on technology)

Example 2:
Fail. Education is a skill? Knowledge is not a skill. Education has no link to the usage of internet. No link between argument and CA.

Example 3:
Fail. Skill level of people?? The start of the paragraph talks about knowledge as a skill, but ends off talking about social skills. No link.

Example 4:
Fail. No explanation and elaboration. Aptitude of their study? A skill?

Example 5:
Fail. How has technology improved the ease of global communication? No example. No explanation as to how technology has helped in improving people’s communication skills.

12 08 2011
Ryan

Example 1:
Fail.
Better equipment does not mean that skills have improved. Did not address how better equipment will affect skills.

Example 2:
Fail.
Education is not a skill and he did not define what skills have been affected.

Example 3:
Fail.
Did not give the direct link between technology and skills. Knowledge is not a skill.

Example 4:
Fail.
Did not address the negative aspect of the question.

Example 5:
Fail.
Did not address what kind of technology has helped increase the skill of communication.

Example 6:
Pass.
Address technology and how has skills been negatively affected. Good development on how technology has helped developed skills.

Example 7:
No link to skills. Intellect is not a skill.

12 08 2011
J AND A

E.G 1 – FAIL
Doesn’t show why skill level is impacted negatively

E.G.2 – FAIL
E.G.4 – FAIL (NO LINK TO HOW SKILL IS AFFECTED)
E.G 3 – FAIL
E.G 5 – FAIL
Did not address extent of impact. Negative impact also not addressed.

E.G 6 – PASS
Improve: Include more e.g to assert claim. Define what the new skills are

12 08 2011
jon soong

Example 1:
Fail. It has failed to address the idea of how technology has impacted our skill levels but instead says that level of technology determines our skill level.

Example 2:
Fail. The no link between skill and technology. First part of the argument is with regards to how technology has allowed us to acquire knowledge with greater ease, not how it has increased our skill level. It then goes on to address the issue of how technology has negatively impacted us. No link.

Example 3:
Fail. No link to skill. Instead, talks about how technology has allowed us greater access to information.

12 08 2011
Ezra Aik

Essay 1: Phail. It does not address “negative impact” but rather looks at how it merely encourages over-reliance on technology. (There is still skill needed in driving a fast car, in fact more skill is needed). Therefore if the writer has slanted it to that direction, it would have passed.

Essay 2: Phail. Skill is not defined (whether it is the method of gaining information or the way information gained is manipulated and managed). Addressing how lacking of either skill is lacking is not there. If the writer has placed information as a way of bringing information to people hence increasing availability of information (for gathering and processing) and THEN link it to increasing our skill in terms of education then it would have passed. The second part of the paragraph makes no or little sense to the fact that it bears no link to skill. (How does game + porn degrade skill? Assumptions?)

Essay 3: Phail due to the fact that it defined skill as knowledge-based etc as knowledge is not a skill. BUT it could have passed if it deleted that line. Passed for requirement. Skill is defined: Interpersonal relation skills. Technology is defined: Mass media. Impact of tech on skill is not solidly proven (eg countries with more tech should be more friendly or more easy to integrate foreigners etc) but is relatively convincing. Therefore, win.

Essay 4: Phail. It does not show the link between the increase of information due to technology linking to the skill. Since skill is defined as aptitude of study (An aptitude is an innate component of a competency (the others being knowledge, understanding, learned or acquired abilities (skills) and attitude) to do a work), it by nature cannot be increased by increased availability of information alone. Poor choice of example.

Essay 5: Phail. Although skill is defined and technology is defined, it does not show how it links or more specifically, how does increased technology allow us to communicate better? What is communicating better? (speed? information? Efficiency?)

Essay 6: Pass. Skill defined: Manufacturing. Technology: Automated Manufacturing. Impact: Shows both side: 1) Providing competition hence loss in jobs(negative). 2) New Skills (positive). Win.

Essay 7: Pass. Skill is defined: Problem solving. Tech: Google = automated problem solving. Impact: Reliance = Degradation of intellect. However to make this better, Google can be categorized as a problem solving skill or option so that actually makes out skill in problem solving better.

12 08 2011
Jeremy

Example 1- Fail
– Example driven
– did not meet question requirement; did not clearly show the negative impact on the skill levels of people.

Example 2- Pass
– extent of negative impact shown.
CA- distracted people from reality and from advancing in their skill levels
A-information readily available for us it can be said that surely, technology has helped us to improve our skill level, especially in the area of education, but only if we do not misuse it.
– However the scope is limited- to the availability of information. education = accessibility of information?

Example 3- Fail
– did not show extent.
– explanation is unclear

Example 4- Fail
– what is the skill?

example 5- Fail

12 08 2011
Ms De Souza’s 2010 Paper One Review « PROGRESS IN G.P.

[…] Essay analysis: To what extent has technology had a negative impact on the skill levels of people? … […]

13 08 2011
Brenda & Da Sol

Example1- Fail. It does not meet requirements. The example is not about how technology has affected the skill levels of people but about how people are more reliant on technology

Example2- Fail. Education and knowledge is not considered as skill

Example3- Fail. The example is about the positive impact of technology. Positive impact =/= not negative

Example4- Fail. Accessibility to information is not considered as skill.

Exampe5- Fail. It doesn’t really say how tech has helped raised this social skill.

Exampe6- Pass. Meeting question requirements. Example 6 talks about how although the rural people’s craft skills has been gradually lost, but they have gained a new skill which is technological skills hence skill has not been lost but merely evolved.

Example7- Fail. Not answering the question.

15 08 2011
Jia Xian

Example 1 :
Pass. Defined that the skill level is with relation to the skill needed to do well in sports and how technology in sports wear and equipment has decrease people’s aptitude to do well in the sports themselves as it is actually the equipment that is giving them the extra edge instead of themselevs.

Example 2 :
Fail. Talks about the negative impact of technology instead of the negative impact of technology on skills. (no clarity here)
No clear stand, talks about both the pros and cons of technology impacts of people’s skills.
Messy

Example 3:
Pass. Defined skill as knowledge and how technology has served to improve our ‘knowledge’.

Example 4:
Fail. Supposed to acknowldge that it is negative before saying why it is positive.

Example 5:
Fail. Supposed to acknowledge that technology has a negative impact first before saying why it is positive.

Example 6:
Pass. Acknowledge that technology has the negative effect of losing the traditional art of bamboo weaving, before proceding to say why the technology has induced an improvement.

Examply 7:
Fail. Did not specify where the loss in skill was.

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

1 – No
2 – Incorrect explanation
3 – No

15 08 2011
Bryan Tan

Example 1- Fail as requirements are not met. It is example driven and doesn’t talk about the negative impacts on skill levels and how skills have deteriorated but on the over-reliance on technology.

Example 2- Fail as education is not a skill but rather a method of obtaining a skill.

Example 3- Fail as does not meet requirements. Wrong as it merely talks about the positive impacts.

Example 4- Fail as does not meet requirements. Wrong as it merely talks about the positive impacts.

Example 5- Fail as does not meet requirements. Wrong as it merely talks about the positive impacts.

Example 6- Pass as it talks about negative impacts of technology and how it has led to the loss of traditional skills instead with technology new skills are learnt. This passes as the negative impact and its extent is mentioned.

Example 7- Fail as being intellectually inclined is not a skill. Hence, requirements are not met.

15 08 2011
Caleb

Example 1: Fail as showing an over-reliance on skill does not show any negative impact on skill. In addition, examples does not show anything about having negative impact on skill.

Example 2: Fail as it does not show how it has a negative impact on skill. Not having advancing well in one’s career because of technology does not show anything about it having a negative impact on skill.

Example 3: Fail as it does not show how it has a negative impact on skill. Having a positive impact on a skill does not equal to not having a negative impact on skill.

Example 4: Fail as increased accessibility to information is not equivalent to technology is not having negative impact on skill. And accessibility to information is not a skill

Example 5: Fail as increases the ease of global communication does equivilate to technology having negative impact on skill

15 08 2011
erica

Example 1- fail. it does not talk about how skill is negatively impacted in any way.

Example 2- fail. 1) education is a skill? really?? 2) we’re not talking about positive impacts of technology or its benefits but the extent of negative impacts on skill 3) addiction is not a negative impact on skill either

Example 3- fail. same problem as in number 2 above

Example 4- fail. same problem as in e.g. 2 and 3

Example 5- fail. see above.

Example 6- borderline fail or pass. Pass cause it talks about how there is a negative impact and i can get the idea that he/she’s trying to say that the extent of the negative impact isn’t that significant. but it might fail because the focus of the paragraph seems to be how tech improves skill which shouldn’t be the focus.

Example 7-fail. so?? link?

15 08 2011
TL, Sun, Mau

Example 1:
FAIL
The argument does not address the negative impact. The example only shows that technology improves our performance but it does not show whether technology has had a negative impact.

Example 2:
FAIL
The answer does not address the question. The question is asking for whether technology has had negative impacts whereas the answer says that there are positive impacts.

Example 3:
FAIL
Similar to example 2, the answer does not address the question

15 08 2011
Reuben

Ex1: Fail. It has no reference as to how skill has been negatively impacted in any way. Just by talking about over-reliance, does not show how skills have deteriorated

Ex2- Fail. Paragraph mostly dwells on the positive impacts when the question is asking about the extent of NEGATIVE impacts

Ex3- Fail. Similar to ex2 and this para is even more obvious that it is talking about positive impacts.

Ex4- Fail. Similar problem as mentioned above

Ex5- Fail. ONCE AGAIN, same problem as above.

Ex6- Pass. Negative impact and the extent of its impact has been mentioned, though very briefly

Ex7- Fail. Being less intellectually inclined has no relation to skill whatsoever.

15 08 2011
Jeff

Example 1- Low pass. To what extent is not clearly addressed, some sense of it from the word ‘over-reliance’
Example 2- fail. I think education can be argued as a skill maybe better to phrase it as ‘learning’ and it is not an easy skill to master😦. But the flaw is that it talks about positive impacts of technology which is irrelevant. Maybe how technology has made learning too easy?
Example 3-6 Fail. same problem as number 2…generally.
Example 7- Fail. example driven, again intellect can be regarded as a skill, this is the meaning of skill quoted from the dictionary “the ability, coming from one’s knowledge, practice, aptitude”

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

1 – No
6 – No

15 08 2011
Justin

Example 1 – Fail. Did not address the negative impact on skill, instead only specifically focusing on examples depicting how technology is cutting out the skill factor(example driven). Hence, question requirements not met.

Example 2 – Fail. Although skill can be cultivated from education, education is not a skill in itself! The definition of skill is ambiguous, not specific, focusing too much about technology instead. Becomes irrelevant in the second part in the CA and R.

Example 3: Borderline borderline pass. Knowledge is not a skill in itself, but knowing how to apply it takes a certain extent of skill. Include a CA and a R, addressing how technology have a degree of negative impact on skill levels to fully address question requirements. Further explain social skills can be improved due to technology to reinforce the positive impact as it is quite vague.

Example 4: Fail. Too short, very very very vague definition of skill, no link between information leading to an increase in skill levels, possessing information does not equate to increasing in skill level.

Example 5: Fail. No explanation and link of how technology improves communication skills. Assumption that technology has no negative impact on communication is flawed.

Example 6: Pass. Needs more explanation in the R to show the positive impact technology has on the skill levels of the rural people.

Example 7: Fail. Being intellectually inclined is not a skill. No explanation, no link, nothing at all.

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

3 – I’d have failed it

15 08 2011
Qirong

Example 1-Fail. Did not answer how technology has caused a negative impact on the skill levels of people as “over-reliance” does not mean that skill level has been affected negatively.

Example 2-Fail. The passage did not address “to what extent” of the question.

Example 3-Fail. Passage only talked about the positive impacts of technology not the negative impacts.

Example 4-Fail. Passage only talked about the positive impacts of technology not the negative impacts.

Example 5-Fail. First few lines talks about how technology has a positive impact and nothing about its negative impacts on skills level of people. However, stand is correct as it addresses the extent of the negative impacts.

Example 6-Fail. Passage contradicts itself as seen from ” loss of skill levels among rural people” and “technology has lead to an increase in the skill level of people”

Example 7-Pass. Passage shows how technology (Google) has a negative impact on skills level of people.

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

2 – Incorrect explanation
6 – No
7 – No

15 08 2011
Edmund

Example 1: Fail
Reason: Examples were okay, but they do not say what impact it has on skills. (negative/positive?) Not competing based on skills does not mean negative impact on skills

Example 2: Fail
Reason: First part was irrelevant to question. Showing positive impact on skills does not show that there is no negative impact on said skills.
Second part was slightly better, but the link was not clear. How does not using a skill lead to a loss of skill? You might just get ‘rusty’, but not entirely lose the skill. Also, getting a ‘useless’ skill is need not be a negative impact; you gain a new skill, albeit a ‘useless’ one

Example 3: Fail
Reason: A positive impact does not mean that there are no negative impacts

Example 4: Fail
Reason: Similar to example 3, a positive impact does not equate to having no negative impacts

Example 5: Fail
Reason: Similar to examples 3 and 4, there may be a negative impact accompanying the positive impact. Does not answer the question

Example 6: Pass (borderline)
Improvement: Quoted: “technology has [led] to an increase in the skill level of people” does not really answer the question and rebuke the statement that there is a loss of “traditional skills”, which was the negative impact covered in this paragraph. Perhaps state that the skills being lost were obsolete, hence it is not a negative impact to lose these skills in the first place

Example 7: Pass
Improvement: Too-example driven. Give a more ‘general’ idea before going into a specific example: Technological advancements, especially the advent of the internet, led to a decrease in our skills to tackle problems and derive answers for ourselves. (Cue examples: Wikipedia/Google/…)

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

2 – Incorrect explanation
3 – Incomplete explanation
7 – No

15 08 2011
Amelia Monteiro

1) Fail
Talks about how skills are no longer used in the area of sport, but does not address the issue on the extent of how technology had a negative impact on skill — creation of good swimsuits and advances in car technology does not have an impact on skill as the skill is still there, just that performance is increased thanks to technology

2) Fail
Talks about technology having a positive impact on skills but not how it does not have a negative impack on skill. + education is not a skill

3) Fail
Addresses positive impact, rather than extent of negative impact

4) Fail
Same as (3)

5) Fail
Says that the communicative ability of employees wrt communication needs to be improved so people can understand one another –> BUT does not show how technology may improve/have a negative impact on the skills level of people

6) Fail
Talks about how finding new skills thus may result in an increase in skill level but not how technology has impacted negatively the skill level of people. Isn’t the loss of the skill of weaving due to teachnology a negative impact of technological advancements?

7) Fail
No link to how our skill is negatively impacted due to google giving us a ready source of information.

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

5 – Incorrect explanation
6 – Misunderstanding of paragraph (though paragraph isn’t very clear)

15 08 2011
Danielle

Eg 1: fail
reason: example does not show how technology has negatively impacted skills.

Eg2: fail
reason: education is not considered a skill

Eg3: fail
reason: knowledge is not a skill. unclear of what the actual point is. first part talks about knowledge as a skill. but it concludes with communication skills. does not answer the question in relation to negative impacts.

Eg 4: fail
reason: only mentions the positive impacts, which does not answer the question requirements.
Eg5: fail
Reason: does not explain how technology has impacted communication skills.
Eg6: pass/fail
Reason: requirements are met. Skill is clear, link to technology is there. But the stand is slightly unclear, and not explicitly phrased in terms of negative impacts.
Eg 7: fail
Reason: does not show any link to the question at all. Lacking in explanation.

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

5 – Incorrect explanation

15 08 2011
Margaret

1) Fail.
Mentions technology having an impact on the skill levels of people but did not mention succintly whether impact is negative or not. Good example though.

2) Fail.
Questions requires extent on negative impact only, not whether technology has more positive impacts or more negative impacts.

3) Fail.
Same reasoning as 2).

4) Fail.
Question already assumes there is a negative impact, cannot argue against it.

5)Fail.
Same reasoning as 4)

6) Fail.
Same reasoning as 5).

7) Fail.
Too shallow? Who is to say that forming the question in our heads in the first place is a skill?

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

1 – Incorrect explanation
2 – Incomplete explanation
3 – Incomplete explanation
6 – No

15 08 2011
Shu En

Example 1 – fail
Reliance on technology does not mean that skill will be negatively impacted

Example 2- fail
Education is not a skill. Skills involved in education such as style of writing must be stated.

Example 3- fail
Knowledge is not a skill

Example 4 fail
What skills are involved? attain more information from the Internet does not mean their skill levels in the aptitude of their study will be increased.

Example 5 – fail
The link between technology increase the ease of global communication and skill of communication is not present.

Example 6 – fail
Improvement in technology to mass-produce at a faster rate compared to traditional handmade accessories, not necessarily means that skill will be lost. Skill can be retained; it is just that the quality of accessories created by technology will not as exquisite as hand made one by expert.

Example 7 – fail
Thinking for the solution to a question to enhance our thought process is not a skill. It is more of a natural instinct.

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

6 – Misunderstanding of paragraph (though paragraph is badly written)

15 08 2011
Melissa

Example 1:
Fail
Nothing on the impact of skills

Example 2:
Fail
did not acknowledge that question is implying there is a negative impact on skills
question not asking for positive impacts

Example 3:
Fail
question not asking for positive impacts
did not acknowledge that question is implying there is a negative impact on skills

Example 4:
Fail
question not asking for positive impacts

Example 5:
fail
not addressing negative impacts

Example 6:
Pass
improvement to rebuttal- technological advances merely created a faster way to produce goods to meet the rising demands in the world market due to an increasing population. furthermore, traditional skills are not lost as people can still get hand-made goods from various shopfronts and even online from Etsy.com which provides an exclusive platform for people to buy and sell hand-made items.

Example 7:
fail
no explaination on skills

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

2 – Incomplete explanation
3 – Incomplete explanation

16 08 2011
Rama

Example 1: fail not answering question requirements (does not show extent rather it gives an alternative basis of comparison), makes unsubstantiated assumptions (over-reliance ≠ causing -ve affect skill level) and looks sort of example driven(speedo’s RDS/KERS…).

Example 2: fail (education ≠ skill, education = learning a skill), example is quite irrelevant as it does not show any relationship between the impact of technology on the skill levels of people. Ease of access to information ≠ the assumption that technology has helped us improve our skill levels. Qns asks for extent of technology which has a negative impact on skill levels of people, not the misuse of technology which will obviously have some other impacts which may not necessarily be on skill levels of people.

Example 3: fail knowledge ≠ skill (it is the acquaintance with facts) example does not answer the question as it talks about +ve impacts when the question is asking about the extent of -ve impact. No link what so ever to skill…(does not recognize question slant)

Example 4: fail-(wrong explanation) does not talk about the extent of the -ve impact of technology on skill. Also attainment of information from the internet does not necessarily mean that there is any significant improvement to one’s skill level…only when this information is processed into knowledge and then subsequently the person becomes sufficiently competent in the task does it then become a skill.

Example 5: fail (explanation is not clear/ does not recognize question slant) tries to show that there is some degree of reliance on technology hence the lack of knowledge of how to use it is a disadvantage and hence affects the skill level of a person negatively in terms of communication with others.. perhaps there are other reasons which technology itself does not play a part. consider bi/multilingualism perhaps that would remove the communication barrier instead of the probable use of some translation/translator technology. Hence if one cannot communicate in another language then that perhaps would have a -ve impact on someones communication skills level.

Example 6: fail (wrong inference) there is no “loss of skill levels” as these people have been passing down this tradition for a long time, thus although there seems to a relative loss in skill constructing traditionally made handicrafts due to crowding out effect of mass produced souvenirs and the apparent slow decline of interest of the younger generation in learning such a skill…no link/ direct/significant -ve impact of technology on the skill levels of rural people.

Example 7: fail. (does not even attempt to ans the question req…) baseless assumptions.. No link to technology or -ve impact on skill level. No explanation/elaboration..

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

4 – Incorrect explanation
5 – Incorrect explanation
6 – No (though paragraph is badly phrased)

16 08 2011
Daryl

Example 1: Fail. Focus not on technology having an impact on skill.

Example 2: Fail. Does not engage the question that there has been a negative impact ON skill.

Example 3: Fail. Wrong focus on positive impact instead of the significance of negative impacts.

Example 4: Fail. There’s is no negative impact mentioned. Even if it were a counter argument, there isn’t an impact on the skill of attaining information.

Example 5: Fail. Does not disprove a negative impact, but only proves a positive impact- the positive impact is assumed to be more significant than whatever negative impact there is. Incoherent logic between the was of comm. and communicative skill.

Example 6: Pass. It engages a negative impact, and instead proves that the “negative impact” might have positive impacts as well. Could be improved by perhaps engaging the fact that tradition and handmade quality warrants some level of skill to uphold in the first place, and that the increasing crowding out only creates a larger urge to preserve and further develop those skills involved (positive impact) to upkeep and perhaps increase the competitiveness of such traditionally produced goods.

Example 7: Less intellectually inclined just means less engagement with the skill of developing intellect, but does not necessarily translate to a loss in the skill.

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

2 – Incorrect explanation
3 – Incomplete explanation

16 08 2011
Adrienne de Souza

My answer:

1) Fail. Focus is on how there’s been a “change in emphasis” – “Instead of competing on a level based on skill, we are now competing on a level based on technology”. This argument merely shows that technology has had an impact on PERFORMANCE. This is not the same as technology impacting SKILL LEVELS. Wearing a Speedo swimsuit does not magically strip me of my swimming skill – all your Olympics athletes who wear them are still extremely skilled swimmers.

2) Fail. Firstly, education is not a skill. Secondly, the gaming/pornography point doesn’t quite address the crux of the question. The argument was, “[o]nline gaming, pornography and online betting are only a measly few examples which have distracted people from reality and from advancing in their skill levels in the real world”. Here, technology has an indirect link on one’s skill levels (technology  distracts people / wastes time  no time to advance skills) – not what the question is really about. Question intends for you to look at the direct impacts. IF you want to include a point on this, you MUST show that you know that this point is slightly tangential. Also, it CANNOT be a main point / one of your first few paragraphs. A small final paragraph would be ok, provided it were phrased to show that you know this point is not really what the question is about. Here’s one way of phrasing it: “While it is crucial to consider the direct impact technology has on our skill levels, it is also possible to approach this from a different angle – the indirect impact technology has on our skill levels. As much as technology can save time, it also steals time when we consider the amount of time lost when one is addicted to the computer, be it an obsessive gamer, a pornography addict, or an online gambler. Although this might have a positive impact on one’s gaming and gambling skill (the pornography-induced “skills” are hardly worth mentioning), it does reduce the time one might otherwise have spent picking up new skills from, say, classes at a community centre, or on working on their existing skills.”

3) Fail. Firstly, knowledge is not a skill. Secondly, it’s merely talking about the positive impacts on our skill levels – wrong approach for this question.

4) Fail. As in the second reason above, it’s merely talking about the positive impacts on our skill levels – wrong approach for this question.

5) Fail. Once again, it’s merely talking about the positive impacts on our skill levels – wrong approach for this question.

6) Pass. Note that although this also talks about the positive impact of technology, the approach is correct (unlike Examples 3-5) because it begins by considering the negative impact, and develops the point from there. To improve this, the explanation of HOW it actually increases skill level is needed. The last line could be edited to read: “Globalisation thus increases the demand for their skills, encouraging them to hone their skills so as to produce more and better quality products. Thus, technology can actually lead to an increase in the skill level of people.”

7) Fail. Intelligence is not a skill.

6 11 2011
jace

Example 1-Fail. It acknowledges that technology has a negative impact on the skills in the arena of sports. But i feel that it lacks an evaluation on ‘to what extent’-that the advantage technology bestow on the performance of atheletes are minimal and thus athelets still have to work hard at honing their skills.

Example 2-Fail? I feel that the claim education itself is a skill is contentious though not wholly baseless. Perhaps it can be made more explicit/specific- the cognitive skill of learning. In addition, it is slight off-topic since it should focus on the negative impact of technology on skills and argue if it is valid or not. Instead of arguing whether the influence is positive or negative. It has raised a valid counter-argument that distractions due to technology can compromise the willingness of people to develop on their cognitive skills. In my opinion, it can go one step further by showing the degree of its negative impact, for example if online gaming, pornography etc affects the skill of the minority/majority. And also consider the tradeoff: if the quantity of information is compromised by its quality, the consequence on our memory’s retention ability. The claim that skills in the virtual world is also a little contentious since there are people who are building a profession about online gaming, blogging etc.

I HAVE A QUESTION THOUGH. Is it wise to include the point about people earning degrees online as one of the counter-argument, or would that be considered as going off-topic by discussing about the advantages of technology with regards to cognitive skills. Is there any way to get around this? (If it may be deemed a worthy point)

Example 3- Fail. Wrong focus, it should look at arguments of its negative effect and contest if it stands or not.

Example 4 -Fail. Same as example 3.

Example 5-Fail. Same as 3 and 4.

Example 6-Pass. It first introduces the fact that tech intends to serve the demands of consumers but compromises the skill of handicraft (which should be more explicitly stated). Then it provides a counter-argument that mass production that technology brings about does not necessary lead to the loss of skills, and even if there is a loss in the skill of doing craft work/hand made goods it would imply a gain in some other skill levels as they develop new areas of expertise.

Example 7-Fail. It’s a bit too example gentric. It should take a more macro-view. And it does not really examine the degree- how a reliance on the information search engine corral would errode the thinking skills. And it’s a little simplistic since it fails to recognise that using search engine is not entirely an unthinking process. It requires users to ask the right questions and consider which keyword would best allow them to get the answer they need.

6 11 2011
Adrienne de Souza

Hi Jace

To answer your question,

“Is it wise to include the point about people earning degrees online as one of the counter-argument, or would that be considered as going off-topic by discussing about the advantages of technology with regards to cognitive skills. Is there any way to get around this? (If it may be deemed a worthy point)”,

The short answer is yes, there is a way to get around this. It’s all about the angle of approach – it won’t be a digression if it is presented as an “in fact” or “furthermore” tier (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s explained here: https://thegeneralpaper.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/rebuttal-tiers-adding-depth-to-counter-arguments-and-rebuttals/). That way, you’re still approaching it from the “negative impact” (rather than “positive impact”) angle.

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